The Saving of Marakshan

Assalam Alaykum I am going to try writing a story and would like to share it with others. I still have not thought of a proper title (I just came up with this title for the forum post lol) but i know as i go one will come to me. Enjoy and please give me critism of any kind it would help greatly.
The only thing im going to tell you about this story is that it is about 2 twin sisters (Thera and Layla) who were seperated at birth and then reunited after many years to solve a problem in Marakshan.


Chapter One
Part One

Birds that wore feathers of the rainbow sat and relaxed in blooming trees while they sang to one another in their mysterious language. From their aerial view one could see the dew that glistened on the many blades of grass as the sun beamed down upon them, creating somewhat of an enchanting and mesmerizing glow.
One could also see down below on the ground squirrels jittering about collecting seeds and acorns to store later as treats while cautiously remaining at a safe distance from the quick and chattering figures of the tall creatures that visited and cared for the garden.
This particular creature was as enchanting as the garden itself. It was slender and had a mass of long shiny black hair that flowed down its back into curls. Its skin was like the tone of the bark that covered the many trees of the garden and it had round eyes whose color was a reflection of the blue sky. The creature moved fast but with grace as it tilted its head back and closed its eyes enjoying the scent of the garden as it walked.

Inhaling deeply and filling her nostrils with the sweet floral scent of roses, Thera made her way quickly past the fountain that was located in her family’s garden. Each year her mother ordered hundreds of roses in various colors to be planted and later picked for celebrations and festivals that were held at her home. Making her way to the yellow rose bushes she spotted her pal.
“Is the coast clear Jose?” she asked the old gardener. “Yes, quickly now before someone sees,” he murmured back in his thick Spanish accent. “Here is your cloak and remember to be safe.”
“Aren’t I always,” Thera chuckled as she grabbed the cloak and dropped to her knees to remove a stone in the wall. “I will be back before dinner as always,” she whispered as she easily slipped through the gap. “If anyone asks-“
“Yes, I know” interrupted Jose, “you are meditating in the gazebo and do not wish to be disturbed.” Thera smiled back at him through the gap on the other side “Now go!!” he warned sliding the stone back in the gap. She was lucky to have a friend like Jose who understood that she was a teenager who desired adventure and thrill in her life. Unlike the many others who thought her place was inside learning more about the kingdom and its history from books. How was she to learn more about the place in which she lived if she was never really allowed out to explore it and to talk to its inhabitants? It was simply impossible to get a sense of the world around her from words written by some scholar who was most likely dead now and who lived in the Old Age when he wrote those dreadful books.
“Daara gatan,” Thera ordered in the ancient tongue, causing the stone to seal back into place as if it had never been removed. “There,” she said standing up to slip on the cloak and place the hood upon her head, “now finally time for a break from this prison.” She joked as she skipped into the woods and followed the path she had taken so many times before to the main roads and marketplaces of Marakshan. All the while humming to herself and fiddling with the oddly shaped charm that she wore on a gold chain around her neck.



Glossary
"Daaran gatan" - "Stone close"

Chapter 1
Part 2

As she hid paralyzed with fear behind one of the many trees in the dark and foggy woods, Layla could hear the crunching of leaves every time the wolf walked. The wolf was huge in size and had golden fur with emerald colored eyes; it had been tracking and chasing her for what seemed like eternity. Layla wished it would just give up and go away, but the wolf enjoyed the thrill of hunting down its prey and could smell the girl’s growing fear with each step that he took. Layla did not know where she was or how to escape from the predator being that it was night and the only source of light was the lightening as it flashed in the distance giving its warning of rain.
If only she had something to defend herself with she would attack the wolf back and run for her life and maybe even climb a tree to wait until the morning so that she knew exactly where she was. But she had nothing to defend herself with so she hid while the wolf continued to track down her scent.
The wolf found her again and decided that it was time to end his little cat and mouse game. He turned his fur covered face towards the dark sky and howled for his fellow pack members to join him. When the four wolves finally arrive, the wolf slowly made his way towards the tree that the girl was hiding behind.
Layla felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise, she was found and had no where to run. Tears of defeat and rain covered her face as she prepared herself for the worst. The four wolves and their golden alpha had her surrounded with her back against the tree. They began to circle around the tree waiting for her to make the first move. Layla stepped forward and the nearest wolf lunged forward to bite her. Without thinking she kicked at the wolf’s nose with all her might causing it to back flip and land on the ground with a solid thud. Instantly she was jumped by two wolves who leapt for her stomach and throat. Layla heard the tearing of cloth and felt agonizing pain as their sharp teeth pierced into her skin. She sank to the ground slowly and the wolves’ grip tightened as she welcomed the cold darkness of death.
*Beep* Beep*Beep* Layla screamed but was instantly relieved to realize that it had all been a dream. Reaching over to her bed stand she pressed the button on her alarm clock to silence the shrill beeping. She was covered in sweat and her heart felt like it was leaping out of her chest.
“Oh, it was only a dream everything is okay.” She said trying to comfort herself. But she was still a little shaken from the events that took place in her nightmare, so she rolled onto her back and stared out the window to watch the sunrise. She began rubbing her source of comfort, which was a charm that she wore on a silver bracelet. She had always worn the charm; it was the only object that she owned in connection to her biological family and the life she lived before she was left on the Johnson's doorstep so many years ago.
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Chapter 2 Part1

The farther she walked from the palace the darker and dreary her surroundings became. The clear blue sky and green grass that the enchantment created within the palace walls was replaced instead by the real Marakshan, which was now a dust covered copy of its former state. Thera had heard many tales from her parents about the multicolored flowers that once covered the green rolling hills of their kingdom and how they gleamed in the sunlight like gems. How Marakshan was a happy place and that everywhere one went they could hear laughter and music played by the villagers. But that was before Thera’s time; soon after she was born darkness covered the kingdom of Marakshan and sadness consumed the once prosperous land. But what followed the darkness was worst, death became constant in the kingdom and the creatures that were responsible for committing the crimes were rumored to be wolves. Many searches for the beasts had been carried out but the only evidence of their existence was the mauled remains of the unlucky villagers that crossed paths with them. It was the main reason why her parents did not allow her to visit the marketplaces anymore but that did not stop Thera from enjoying herself.
“Buy one get one free!!!” yelled a nearby carpet seller. The nearest carpet had a ocean woven on it with the help of magic and the many different shades of blue, the ocean’s water rippled and every so often a dolphin would jump out of the water and flip in the air.
“Would you like to buy one young lady?” asked the wrinkled old carpet seller.
“No thank you sir I was only looking.” Thera said hugging the cloak tighter around her and walked past him to the jewel stand. Each week she came and bought a ring or bracelet from the stand which was owned by the kingdom’s only fortune teller. Well she use to be a fortune teller until she became senile from old age, she could not foresee herself out of a dark room if she wanted some joked. But Thera liked the old lady she was always polite to her and even invited her to tea once where she read her tea leaves.
“How are you today Ms. Hanpod?” she asked the old lady loud enough for her to hear. But Ms. Hanpod just stared back at her with blank and emotionless eyes.
“Ms. Hanpod?.....are you okay?” Thera asked as she gently shook the old lady’s shoulder only to be stared back at.
“When the Two become one again all hope will be restored,” croaked Ms. Hanpod.
“What?” Thera asked confused.
“The Two have the key to Marakshan’s hopes and dreams.”
“Ms. Hanpod!” Thera shouted shaking the old woman harder “Some one help something is wrong!”
Ms. Hanpod’s eyes suddenly glowed a bright orange and her body became stiff.
“The Two will lock the gates of The Darkened Beast!!!” she screamed causing many of the vendors to stare in horror.
“Go get help admittedly,” Thera commanded “this is an order from your Princess.” She said undoing her cloak to reveal herself, “Someone go now!!”
The marketplace went still Thera wasn’t sure if it was the fact that a member of the Royal family was in their presence or the fact that Ms. Hanpod eyes were beaming lights.
“Uhh yes Princess at once,” said a young man as he ran off toward the doctor's home.
“Ms. Hanpod if you can hear me everything will be okay.” She said before the old lady fainted in her arms.

Chapter 2
part 2

Layla always knew she was adopted the Johnsons never told her but she knew from the time she was able to understand the world around her that the Johnsons were not her biological family. Greg and Janice were nice and treated her like she was their own daughter but Layla always wondered what her real parents were like and why they had left her on the doorsteps to be cared for by strangers. I mean did they not care for her or were they just too poor or young to take care of their own child. Soon she would have the answers to all of her questions. Layla had contacted an adoption agency and set up a meeting with the manager in the hopes that they could give her any kind of information as to how she could find her real family, a meeting to which she was late for.
“Layla breakfast!!” shouted her adoptive mom, “you are going to have to eat in the car we are already running late!”
“I will be right down just let me finish my hair!”
Layla stared in the mirror at her nervous reflection, she looked and felt as if at any moment she was about to throw up. What if the information does not help or worse what if she found out that her parents were no longer living.
“No I have to think positive” she said pulling her long dark hair into a ponytail.
It would be great to know exactly where she got her exotic looks from, every time someone asked her where she was from she always felt a bit hurt inside because she herself did not know where. Most people thought she was either Dominican or Aborigine, which she highly doubted but it was not everyday that you saw a black girl with blue eyes. Layla hurried down stairs into the kitchen and almost ran into her adoptive mom who was rushing around like a mad woman.
“Come on Layla,” She rambled as she handed her a bowl of oatmeal and grabbed her car keys “I just called them to let them know that we were running late so let’s hit the road.”

Layla loved taking long drives but this had to be the longest and most nerve wrecking trip of her life. She wondered if Janice felt as nervous as she did or was she hurt by the ordeal of her wanting to find her real parents and thought that once she did Layla would leave to be with them.
“Layla,” Janice said startling her out of her thought “Greg and I want you to know that you are always welcomed to stay with us even if you do find your biological family.”
Layla’s nerves settled hearing her adoptive mom say this “Thanks for everything Janice you and Greg will always be my family, I just would like to know my roots and where I came from.”

"Well hopefully today we will find out."
"Yea hopefully" Layla said more to herself as she watched trees and other cars rushe past her window